A mother was driving her little girl to a friend’s house for a playdate.
“Mommy,” the little girl asked, peering over the backseat, “how old are you?”
“Honey, you should never ask a lady her age,” the mother replied with a smile. “It’s not very polite.”
“Oh, okay,” the little girl nodded. “Then how much do you weigh?”
“Now, really!” the mother sighed. “Those are very personal questions, and they are none of your business.”
Undaunted, the little girl pressed on. “Well, why did you and Daddy get a divorce?”
“That is quite enough questions for one day, young lady! Honestly!”
When they arrived, the exasperated mother dropped her daughter off and quickly made her escape. As the two little girls began to play, the daughter grumbled, “My mom is a total mystery. She won’t tell me anything about herself.”
“Well,” her friend whispered, looking around conspiratorially, “all you have to do is look at her driver’s license. It’s basically a report card for grown-ups. It has everything on it.”
Later that night, the little girl walked into the kitchen, folded her arms, and said, “I know how old you are, Mommy. You’re 32.”
The mother froze, completely surprised. “How on earth did you find that out?”
“I also know that you weigh 140 pounds.”
The mother’s jaw dropped. Shocked, she demanded, “How in heaven’s name did you find that out?!”
The little girl smiled triumphantly. “And I finally know why you and Daddy got a divorce, too.”
The mother held her breath, braced for impact. “Oh really? Why?”
“Because,” the little girl proudly declared, “you got an F in s*x!”
(Note: The joke relies on the child misreading “Sex: F” (Female) on the driver’s license as a failing school grade!)
