Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, “Why aren’t you married? Can’t you find a woman who will be a good wife?”
Thomas replied, “Actually, I’ve found many women I wanted to marry, but when I brought them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn’t like them.”
His friend thinks for a moment and says, “I’ve got the perfect solution, just find a girl who’s just like your mother.”
A few months later they met again and his friend said, “Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?”
With a frown on his face, Thomas answered, “Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.”
The friend said, “Then what’s the problem?”
Thomas replied, “My father doesn’t like her.”
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An old man bought a well from a smart aleck.
The next day while on his way to the market he met the smart aleck who told him,
“I have sold the well to you but not the water. If you use the water you will have to pay for it.”
The old man stared at him for a moment.
Then he replied,
“I was in fact planning to come to your place and ask you to empty the water. If you don’t, you will have to pay the rent for storing it in my well.”
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The 10th grade teacher asks Jessica, “What part of the human body increases to ten times its normal size when excited?”
“That’s disgusting!” Jessica responds. “I don’t have to answer that question!”
So the teacher asks Jamie, who responds: “That’s easy… the pupil of the eye.”
“That’s correct, Jamie. Very good!” The teacher says.
Then turning to Jessica, she announces: “I have three things to say to you, young lady… First, you didn’t do your homework; second, you have a dirty mind; and third, you’re in for a big disappointment!”
