In the beginning…
God created the cat.
Then He looked around and thought,
“This magnificent creature is going to need staff.”
So on the second day, He created humans…
…to open doors that were already open,
clean litter boxes,
buy expensive food the cat might refuse to eat,
and worship the furry little ruler of the house.
On the third day, God created tuna, mice, birds, and every other delicious creature…
Just in case the cat felt snacky.
On the fourth day, He invented hard work…
So humans could earn enough money to pay for gourmet cat food, scratching posts, toys, and furniture the cat would ignore in favor of the cardboard box.
On the fifth day, God created balls of yarn, laser pointers, feather wands, cardboard boxes, and catnip mice…
So the cat could stare at them…
Walk away…
And play with a bottle cap instead.
On the sixth day, God created veterinarians…
To keep the cat healthy…
And to keep humans permanently broke.
Finally, on the seventh day, God decided to take a well-earned rest.
At exactly 5:00 a.m.
The cat jumped on His chest…
Knocked something off a shelf…
Yelled directly into His face…
And demanded breakfast.
That’s when God realized…
He no longer owned the cat.
The cat owned everyone. 😂
