The Nun’s Confession about the Parrot
An elderly nun walked into the church’s confession booth, looking deeply troubled. When the priest opened the partition, she sighed heavily and began to speak in a soft, trembling voice.
“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned,” she whispered. “I have committed the sin of wrath and bad language. Yesterday, I lost my temper completely and said some very unholy things to the convent’s pet parrot.”
The priest, knowing how holy and gentle the nun usually was, smiled gently through the screen. “My dear Sister, we all lose our patience sometimes. What on earth did the parrot do to make you so angry?”
The nun wiped a tear from her eye. “Well, Father, I spent three weeks trying to teach that bird to say ‘Praise the Lord’ or ‘Hallelujah’. But yesterday afternoon, right when the Mother Superior walked into the room, the parrot looked at her and shouted a very rude phrase: ‘Hey fat lady, clean my cage!’.”
The priest tried very hard to hide his laughter. “And what did you say to the bird, Sister?”
The nun looked down in shame and confessed, “I grabbed the cage, shook it hard, and yelled at the top of my lungs: ‘Shut up, you stu-pid animal, or I’m going to cook you for Sunday dinner and feed you to the Bishop!’.”
The priest cleared his throat, trying to stay professional, and asked, “And did the parrot stop?”
The nun nodded slowly, “Yes, Father. But now, whenever I walk into the kitchen, it stares at the oven and whispers: ‘Please, Sister, don’t baptize me in there!’.”
