An old man and his wife have gone to bed.
After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says, “Seven Points.”
His wife rolls over and says, “What in the world was that?”
The old man replied, “Fart Football.”
A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”
After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, “Touchdown, I’m ahead 14 to 7.”
Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, “Touchdown, tie score.”
Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, “Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.”
Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he p**ps the b*d.
The wife looks and says, “What was that?”
The old man replied, “Half-time, Switch sides.”
Little Johnny failed his math test dismally.
His mark was so bad, his teacher called home to have a word with his dad.
When he returned home that afternoon, his father was standing crossly in the doorway. “Why did you fail your math test?” he asked.
Little Johnny shrugged and said: “My teacher isn’t very good.”
Johnny’s father was astonished by his excuse and urged him to expand. “Well, on Monday, my teacher said 3+5 = 8.”
“So?” his father replied.
“Then on Tuesday, she told us 4+4 = 8, and on Wednesday she said 6+2 = 8,” explained the child.,
“If she doesn’t know what equals eight, how am I supposed to know the right answer?”
