A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
“But, officer,” the man began, “I can explain”
“Just be quiet,” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.”
“But, officer, I just wanted to say”
“And I said to keep quiet! You’re going to jail!”
A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief’s at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.”
“Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom.
As they sit down to eat, their talk turns to the intricate intricacies of their illicit moonshine operation, which they carry out with secrecy and excitement.
A woman at the adjacent table is enjoying a sandwich when an unexpected coughing fit interrupts the conversation.
Her coughing, which began as a slight discomfort, quickly turns into a worrying scenario, attracting concerned glances from the guests surrounding her.
One of the hillbillies directs his eyes toward the anxious woman, his voice expressing a puzzled but genuine query, “Can you swallow?” A modest shake of the woman’s head conveys her feeble negative answer.
“Can you breathe?” he asks, sensing the gravity of the issue. The woman’s condition worsens as her complexion turns an unsettling bluish tint, and she expresses her inability to breathe through yet another refusal motion.
The hillbilly takes a vital step, bridging the space between their tables with a mix of arrogance and tenderness.
He lifts her dress and expertly drops her undergarments, immediately applying a lick to her right buttock with his tongue, drawing on an odd remedy steeped in his hillbilly wisdom.
The result is astonishing: the woman’s shock causes a severe spasm that dislodges the impediment restricting her airway.
She feels tremendous relief as the object is evacuated, her airway clears, and her breathing is restored. In the uproar, the hillbilly returns to his table. His actions have saved the day in an unexpected but effective manner.
His partner, who is similarly astounded by the unconventional technique, joins in with a mix of fun and surprise. “Well, I’d heard of the ‘Hind Lick Maneuver,’ but seeing it done firsthand is a sight to behold, ain’t it?”
The event becomes a story that will be told repeatedly, spreading throughout the region as proof of the unexpected ways human ingenuity can prevail over adversity.
