A man came home from an exhausting day at work, plopped down on the couch in front of the television, and told his wife: “Get me a beer before it starts!”
The wife sighed and got him a beer.
Ten minutes later, he said: “Get me another beer before it starts!”
She looked cross, but fetched another beer and slammed it down next to him.
He finished that beer and a few minutes later said: “Quick, get me another beer, it’s going to start any minute!”
The wife was furious. “Is that all you’re going to do tonight! Drink beer and sit in front of that TV! You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore…”
The man sighed and said: “It’s started.”
There is a mommy stork, a daddy stork, and a baby stork.
One day, daddy didn’t come home for dinner.
Mommy and baby were very worried.
When dad came home late the next morning, they asked what he was doing.
“I was making a young couple very happy,” he replied.
About a week later, mommy didn’t come home for dinner.
Daddy and the baby were very worried.
When mom came home late the next morning, they asked what she was doing.
“I was making a young couple very happy,” she replied.
A few days later, the baby didn’t come home for dinner.
Mom and dad were very worried.
When he came home very late the next morning, they asked him where he was.
Baby just grinned and said,
“I’ve been scaring the sh!t out of college students!”