Teacher: “Class, if I sold my house and my car, gave all my money to the church, and did good deeds every day, would I get into Heaven?”
The class went quiet.
Little Johnny confidently raised his hand.
“No!”
The teacher looked surprised.
“No? Then what would I have to do to get into Heaven?”
Johnny grinned.
“First, you gotta be dead!”
The teacher blinked.
“Where did you learn THAT?”
Johnny shrugged.
“My dad says the only ways to get some real peace are to be dead or divorced.”
He paused.
“But I figured Heaven probably has stricter rules!”
The teacher stared at him.
“Johnny… please stop taking notes during your parents’ arguments.”
