The Gorilla Whisperer
So one day, Bob was at the Zoo checking out the animals. While he was reading the sign on the Gorilla cage, he noticed some movement out of the corner oh his eye, and notice an Ape staring at him, and mimicking his movements.
So Bob decided to have a little fun, and started to dance a little jig, and sure enough the big ape started dancing.
So then he decided to pat his head and rub his belly, and the ape did it as well.
Bob was having so much fun, that he wanted to come up with something really hilarious… so he started thinking, and as was his habit, he started to scratch his chin.
Suddenly the ape went nuts. He pulled apart the bars of his cage, jumped the moat and proceeded to beat the ever-living shit out of Bob.
A few days later, Bob woke up from his coma and found himself in a body cast at a hospital. Soon after his awaking, a zookeeper came in and asked Bob exactly what had happened.
“Well, I was reading the sign, scratching my head. When I looked up, the Ape was doing it too. So then I danced a little bit, and the Ape did it too. I then rubbed my belly and pat my head, which he did as well. The last thing I remember was thinking about what to do next- so I was sitting there, scratching my chin…”
“Wait, you were scratching your chin?”
“Yes… why?”
“Well, that explains things- you see, scratching your chin means ‘go f*ck yourself’ in Gorilla.”
Now if you’ve ever been in a cast, you know how miserable it is. Now imagine being in a full body cast, stuck eating horrible hospital food for six whole months!
As I’m sure you can imagine, all Bob could think about was his revenge on that f*cking Gorilla. So when he was finally well enough to get out of the hospital, he knew exactly what he was going to do.
His first stop was at a butchers, where he bought a massive Kielbasi Sausage and two butcher knives.
He then went to the Zoo, and went straight to the Gorilla cage, where his old friend was sitting, picking his nose.
“Hey big boy…you remember me?” Bob asked, as he scratched his head.
The Gorilla jumped up, and started scratching his head.
“Yeah, You do…don’t you.” Bob started dancing his little jig, and the Gorilla followed suite.
“Well, big boy…I’ve got a nice surprise for you today!” With that, Bob reached into his bag, and pulled out the kn*ves. He tossed one into the cage. The ape picked up the shiny object, and held it up in the air, just like Bob was.
With his other hand, Bob undid his fly and pulled out the Kielbasa, and held it in his hand in front of his pants. The ape then reached down, and held his p*nis just like he saw Bob do.
Then with one swift movement, Bob sliced the Kielbasa right in half. Do you know what the ape did?
He scratched his chin.
