A guy sends a text to his next-door neighbor:
“Bob, I’m sorry. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess:”
“I have been helping myself to your wife when you’re not around, probably more than you. It’s been so incredible and fun, I’ve not been able to stop myself. Sometimes it goes on for hours and hours.”
“I know it’s no excuse but I don’t get it at home. I can’t live with the guilt any longer. I hope you’ll accept my sincerest apology. It won’t happen again.”
Feeling outrage and betrayed, Bob goes into the bedroom and curse his wife
Moments later the guy gets a second text:
“Bloomin’ auto-correct I meant to say ‘wifi’”
“Hey, Mom,” asked Little Johnny,
“can you give me twenty dollars?”
“Certainly not!” answered his mother.
“If you do,”
Little Johnny went on,
“I’ll tell you what dad said to the maid when you were at the beauty shop.”
His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her purse, she handed over the money.
“Well? what did he say?”
“He said, ‘Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow.’”
