John visited his 70-year-old survivalist grandpa who lived off the grid.
On the first morning of the visit, John’s grandpa prepared a breakfast of bacon and eggs.
John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and asked, “Are these plates clean?”
His grandpa replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get them. Just go ahead and finish your meal.”
For lunch, Grandpa made hamburgers.
Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have specks of dried egg on it.
“Are you sure these plates are clean?” he asked.
Without looking up, Grandpa said, “I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them!”
Later, as John was leaving, his grandpa’s dog started to growl and wouldn’t let him pass.
John said, “Grandpa, your dog won’t let me get by!”
Grandpa yelled to the dog,
“Cold Water, go lie down!”
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Jimmy Needed To Go To The Restroom
One day, little Jimmy needed to go to the restroom at school, so he raised his hand.
The strict substitute teacher asked him to say the full alphabet before letting him go.
“But Miss, I am bursting to go,” said Jimmy.
“You may go, but after you say the full alphabet.”
“A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z,” he said.
Catching his mistake, the substitute asked, “Jimmy, where is the ‘P?’”
He answered, “Halfway down my legs, Miss.”
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