… a State Trooper sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH.
He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!”
He turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back – looking absolutely terrified, eyes wide and white as ghosts.
The lady driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”
“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “You weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.”
“Slower than the speed limit?” she asked
“No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly… 22 miles an hour!” the old woman says proudly.
The Trooper, trying to contain a chuckle, explains to her that “22” was the route number, not the speed limit.
A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.
“But before I let you go, Ma’am, I have to ask… Is everyone in the car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time,” the officer asks.
“Oh, they’ll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119.”
A guy walked into a bar with a monkey.
The monkey grabbed some olives off the bar and ate them.
Then he grabbed some sliced limes and ate them. He then jumped onto the pool table and grabbed one of the balls.
To everyone’s amazement, he stuck it in his mouth and somehow swallowed it whole.
The bartender looked at the guy and said, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
“No, what?”
“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table – whole!”
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” replied the guy, “he eats everything in sight, don’t worry, I’ll pay for the cue ball.”
